The 48Hours

For those not in the know, and as far as I know the few people who read this thing are in the know, the 48Hours is an event in which you make a film in 48Hours. It started out as an international event passing through New Zealand but the New Zealand bit has now branched off from the others. Basically the rules are simple, you are given just prior to starting, a randomly picked genre, a line, a character, and a prop to have in your movie, and then have exactly 48Hours to complete your movie. Not getting it in on time gets you disqualified, though you can still show your short in the heats, and not having some or all of the elements will also get you disqualified. You'll also get disqualified if your short is too short or too long. Our film last year was too long by 30Seconds so we got disqualified. Such is life.

This year we were determined to get our act together, or something, and by we I mean our director, and by get our act together I mean make us some soup. It was good soup, but I digress. Last year we had a couple problems, one of which was the two directors, the other was that I was actually the most organised person on the team and the only one that new how to hand it in. When I am the most organised person things are in a very very bad state. This year we had one director. Other things that turned out better than last year included

We finished with plenty time to spare to add the music so the music composer didn't hate us at the end.
Our plot actually makes sense to people that haven't had it explained to them beforehand.
Our lighting is a hell of a lot better.
We got a lot more sleep than last year.

On the downside we almost burned down the director's house but that's a small problem all round. We didn't get into the finals, but oh well. I had nothing to do with the writing this year, for better or worse, so don't blame me if you hate the plot, also don't praise me if you love it. (Though I don't really mind the latter)

For the crap quality Youtube version go here

Updating the Update Process

Having left this blog abandoned for too long I figured it was time for an update. Regular updates will hopefully follow. I'll try and do one a day.

Disgusting Looking Foods of The World : Episode One

First off there is a very good chance there will never be an Episode 2. It's just I came across this and it seemed just horrible enough to get it's own post.

Take, if you will, a boiled egg. You like boiled eggs right? I like Boiled Eggs. Boiled eggs as you no doubt are aware are taken by placing a raw egg, generally a hens egg but sometimes a duck or other bird's egg, into boiling water and leaving it there until they float. (Or 20 minutes or whatever)

What if you decided to change things slightly, instead of taking an unfertilised egg, you took an egg that had a partly grown embryo in it and boiled that instead, what a treat that would be. Thoroughly sickened. You haven't seen the pictures yet.

Here's the peeling off of the shell.

And here's the product in a bowl. Do not view this if you are eating, just ate, or plan to eat in the near future.

According to wikipedia it's usually Duck's eggs but sometimes chicken's eggs. Apparantly it's quite the delicacy in The Philippines, Cambodia, and Vietnam. If you ever get the urge to try this apatising foodstuff, let me know what it tastes like. I'm not overeager to learn what it tastes like firsthand.

Click here to learn more.

New Banner

Thanks to Daniel for the new banner. Not that I had an old one, just words, and not that I would have made one for a while, and not that it would have been as good anyway, so we're all happy. It's much better than what was there.

I'm not even a maniac, it just sounded cool at the time.

R.I.P. Heath Ledger

Yeah, you've probably been inundated with information about Heath Ledger, but I'm adding my little post on the matter and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you stop me.

I don't actually have much to say about him that hasn't been said, except that he was actually a really talented guy, who, like a couple other actors I could name, seemed just to be another 'Teen Hearthrob' (got a hate that phrase) but with roles in things Brokeback Mountain showed how awesome he really was. Allegedly, I never actually saw Brokeback Mountain. I know, I suck. I'll see it eventually. Anyway, though I'd liked numerous roles the guy was in what really impressed me was the trailer for 'The Dark Knight' where he played The Joker. Yeah I'd had second thoughts on whether he should play it, preferring someone like Crispin Glover or Mark Hamil, but watch the trailer and you'll realise just how good he really is.

So yeah, if you haven't, go watch the trailer for 'The Dark Knight' which Heath Ledger fortunatly finished filming, and look forward to what will sadly be his last movie. Unless the one he was part way through filming when he died comes out, which you won't be surprised to learn was being directed by Terry Gilliam. That guy just never gets a break does he.

Anyway go here to get the Dark Knight Trailer.
http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/thedarkknight/trailer2/

The sad state of the horror genre.

I'm a horror movie fan. A fan of the horror movie genre. The sad thing is, this is a fact that I actually argue with myself about, as I sometimes don't want to be a fan of the horror genre. Why, because lets face it, most horror movies suck.

Lots of other genres have their fair share of crap, comedies have a consistently high supply of total crap, and look at all terrible action movies that come out each year. We have the awful romantic comedies, the mind-bogglingly awful dramas, and sci-fi movies that make you consistantly bang your head on the wall. (Though these are nearly as prolific as in the 50s for instance)

But horror movies have overcome the odds and manage to out suck all of these genres, possibly all of them put together. It's flooded with uber-shitty Halloween rip-offs, mostly crap torture movies (like Hostel) and those movies that try to mimic the supposedly great Japanese horror (not really sure since I haven't seen much Japanese horror) but fail at being good. Example, The Grudge. Don't even get me started on The Grudge. Also can't forget the crappy remakes to the good films, and even the crappy remakes of crap films. There are also a number of other horror movies that don't fall into any category I can think of at this time but they are usually pretty crap and star 'Famous Celebrity of the moment'. You know what I'm talking about.

Why is horror in such a crappy state, why has it sunk so low? (Not that it, arguably, was very high to begin with.) The answer is, I believe, that people are, for some reason, willing to accept complete and utter crap in this genre more than any other. The eighties was especially bad with fifty thousand shitty Friday the 13th rip-offs. (Not forgetting the movie was a rip-off itself), complete with no name actors who couldn't act, or maybe they could and it was so hard to tell and the dialogue was so appalling that no-one cared. Who cares if the dialog is good? Who cares if the actors can act? Who cares if the plot makes any sense whatsoever and isn't a rehash that completely contradicts the first movie altogether, the dumbass public will still lap this shit up and we'll rake in the proceeds.

We also get stuff like Hellraiser, which was a really original idea, and a good, if heavily flawed, especially in the special effects department, movie. The studios missed the point and with the exception of Part 2, almost all the sequels sucked. Trust the studios to not get it.

I'll say a small amount on the torture movies. I think the first Saw (Haven't actually seen the sequels) was pretty decent as the scenario was pretty well set up and it had a nice atmosphere throughout. I've seen better but I've seen far far worse. Hostel on the other hand was a complete piece of crap. Eli Roth seemingly wanted to copy the brilliance of Takashi Miike's 'Audition' (There's a movie you should check out). He however completly failed in this task by making the protagonists so annoying that you honestly couldn't care less if they died in the most painful of ways. The movie lacks in so many ways that I won't go into right now because that would take another post. Maybe in the future.

Maybe what horror really needs is the independents. People willing to take a risk. Give us something with some imagination. Don't go over the same old shit time and time again. Maybe what it really needs is for the public to stop accepting the total shit the horror genre is giving us. I wouldn't wait for that to happen anytime soon.

The best horror is actually happening in movies that aren't primarily labled as horror. Maybe those are the movies we should be turning our attention to, maybe they can save us from this dreck.

Movie outline.

Following Jeff's ponderings on the beginning of the universe I devised a sort of a plan for a movie explaining how the universe started. Some have said it slightly resembles a movie already in existence directed by that guy who directed that movie where Jack Nicholson goes crazy in a hotel in the middle of winter or something.

Anyway, it starts with scientists in space picking up a signal for help somewhere in the solar system, I don't know, by one of the near planets or something. One of the scientists for some reason has been reading Jeff's blog, and, thinking he's awesome, picks him to man the expedition there for some reason. Jeff, (who plays himself) thinks it's pretty cool he's been picked for a space mission despite the fact he has no training and there are lots of astronauts with lots of training who really wanted the job. Anyway, him and his friend, not sure which friend but we'll choose John for now, board the spacecraft and go into space.

Not sure of the specifics at this point but the scientists have provided stuff to keep them entertained during this time including a NES. Millions of dollars worth of space equipment and they get a NES for some reason. Anyway, as they are nearing their destination, the NES starts to act a little strangely, and conversations with it sentences are often garbled and hard to understand. (Hopefully the audience will just accept the fact that the NES is having conversations with them)

Anyway, something goes wrong with the left propeller or something (What do you mean they don't have propeller's in space ships? Pick something else then, I don't know, a rocket something or other) and John has to go outside to fix it, but the NES, which at this stage has snapped and gone evil, cuts the cable, sending John floating into space. Jeff, decides he has to retrieve his friends body, but fails in doing that, and then the NES locks him out. 'Open the pod bay doors NES' 'I'm sorry I can't do that Jeff' or dialogue like that. Anyway, somehow Jeff gets into the ship anyway, and then pulls apart the NES while it sings the theme tune to 'Super Mario Brothers' it gets slower and slower and slower until the NES finally dies.

After this, Jeff has no choice but to go outside and investigate the source of the distress call. It turns out to be a sort of a wormhole, which sucks him in. He yells out 'Help' and is sucked in. His cry is sent back in time a few months. Jeff on the other hand is sucked further and further back, through lots of special effects that look like those visualisations you get from some media players. Jeff arrives at the dawn of the time and explodes, creating the big bang and beginning the universe. It is subsequently proven that Jeff is the centre of the Universe.

I plan to shoot this on location in space, and I estimate the budget to be a few billion. I'm currently looking for backers.

Let me know what you think. A lot of these ideas were obviously Jeff's which I just elaborated on such as him being centre of the universe, but the others came from other some place entirely. One thing is for sure though, it's not a complete rip off of 2001 : A Space Odyssey.... Y'see.... It has no monkeys.............